Rate Your Complaint - Use this chart to determine if a situation meets the definition of bullying.

  • RATE YOUR COMPLAINT

     

    CONFLICT

    RUDE

    MEAN

    BULLYING

    Definition

     

    Disagreement between ideas, views, or feelings

     

    Carelessly disregards or disrespects other’s feelings;

    Impolite or ill-mannered

    Intentionally disregards or disrespects other’s feelings by being unkind, inappropriate, cruel, and/or malicious.

    -    Any verbal or physical act that is intentionally planned AND

    motivated by a perceived or actual characteristic

    -    Is insulting, demeaning, threatening, damaging, or causes physical or emotional harm to another individual, group or another person’s property

    Type of Problem

    Small

    (Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

    Small

    (Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

    Small

    (Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

    BIG

    (Go directly to an Adult:
    Problem is Dangerous, Scary, Frightening, Unsafe or Illegal)

    It may occur

    Occasionally

    Occasionally

    Once or twice

    One or more times

    Does not have to be repeated

    How it occurs

    Not planned

    Happens in the moment

    Spontaneous

    Unintentional

    Intentional

    Intentional and planned

    Problem existing between all parties involved

    Based in thoughtlessness and poor manners

    -    Based in anger

    -    Impulsively careless and disrespectful

    -   The bully knows their actions will be harmful to the individual/group or damaging to their property

    -   Places the victim in fear being harmed

    Result

     

    All parties may be upset

     

     

    Can cause hurt feelings

     

    Can hurt other’s feelings deeply

    -   The target of the bullying may be deeply upset or afraid of being harmed

    -   May be physically harmed, or property may be damaged

    -   Causes substantial disruption or interference in school operation

    Resolutions

    All parties want to work things out

    Rude individual accepts responsibility

    Behavior often regretted

    The bully often blames the target and denies the behavior

    All parties make an effort to solve the problem

    Rude individual may be directed to write an apology letter

    Individual responsible for the behavior may be directed to write an apology letter

    The target wants the bully’s behavior to stop, but the bully often does not accept responsibility

    May be resolved through peer mediation

    Social skill building and education on respect

    The behavior needs to be addressed immediately

    -    Cannot be resolved through peer mediation

    -    An investigation will take place

    -    The bully and their behavior will be addressed by administration

    Kelso’s Choices for Small Problems

    Big Problems

    Share and take turns

    Go to another game

    Make a deal

    Tell them to stop

    Ignore it

    Walk Away

    Wait and cool off

    Talk it out

    Apologize

    Talk to an Adult