DEFINITION

Disagreement between ideas, views, or feelings

TYPE OF PROBLEM

Small
(Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

IT MAY OCCUR

Occasionally

HOW IT OCCURS

Not planned
Happens in the moment

Problem existing between all parties involved

RESULT

All parties may be upset

RESOLUTIONS

All parties want to work things out

All parties make an effort to solve the problem

May be resolved through peer mediation

KELSO’S CHOICES FOR SMALL PROBLEMS

Share and take turns
Go to another game
Make a deal

Carelessly disregards or disrespects other’s feelings;

Impolite or ill-mannered

Small
(Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

Occasionally

Spontaneous
Unintentional

Based in thoughtlessness and poor manners

Can cause hurt feelings

Rude individual accepts responsibility

Rude individual may be directed to write an apology letter

Social skill building and education on respect

Tell them to stop
Ignore it
Walk Away

Intentionally disregards or disrespects other’s feelings by being unkind, inappropriate, cruel, and/or malicious.

Small
(Try at least two of Kelso’s choices before going to an adult)

Once or twice

Intentional

- Based in anger
- Impulsively careless and disrespectful

Can hurt others feelings deeply

Behavior often regretted

Individual responsible for the behavior may be directed to write an apology letter

The behavior needs to be addressed immediately

Wait and cool off
Talk it out
Apologize

- Any verbal or physical act that is intentionally planned AND motivated by a perceived or actual characteristic
- Is insulting, demeaning, threatening, damaging, or causes physical or emotional harm to another individual, group or another person’s property

BIG
(Go directly to an Adult:
Problem is Dangerous, Scary, Frightening, Unsafe or Illegal)

One or more times
Does not have to be repeated

Intentional and planned

- The target of the bullying may be deeply upset or afraid of being harmed
- May be physically harmed, or property may be damaged
- Causes substantial disruption or interference in school operation

- The target of the bullying may be deeply upset or afraid of being harmed
- May be physically harmed, or property may be damaged
- Causes substantial disruption or interference in school operation

The bully often blames the target and denies the behavior

The target wants the bully’s behavior to stop, but the bully often does not accept responsibility

- Cannot be resolved through peer mediation
- An investigation will take place
- The bully and their behavior 

BIG PROBLEMS

Talk to an Adult